Back to the 80's. Or the 60's

MILAN, Feb. 26 - When the fall 2005 ready-to-wear shows ended here on Saturday with Dean and Dan Caten's crucifix sweaters at Dsquared and the editors called out to one another, "See you in Paris," it was with a sense of relief rather than a reawakening. The beauty of fashion is that you can be reborn every day. So why did the Milan collections seem more like a season in purgatory?

Admittedly, some crabbiness is inevitable. Milan is to product what Iowa is to corn, and few designers here practice self-restraint when it comes to the merch. But when you see the world's top models, who earn $10,000 a show, sprouting fever blisters, crashing to the runway like large pole pines and kicking off their shoes because their feet hurt, you can't help feeling that their pain, however well compensated, is emblematic of the season. More than a few spectators have winced at the amount of broadtail, with one editor offering the dreadful commentary, "Silence of the lambs.